


The Awakening

by EstherDreams



Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Drama, Frottage, Loki's POV, M/M, Past Abuse, Romance, Thor and Loki have cats, and they assume the role of furry Cupids, but Thor gets to share his views in the end, but this author has no regrets, done in third person POV, it doesn't go into detail, only mentions of it, this got way longer and more serious than originally intended
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 13:34:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5745745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EstherDreams/pseuds/EstherDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki didn't want the cat, but Sigyn gave him one, anyway. As if that weren't enough, the furry little bastard likes to escape to the house of Loki's new neighbour, one Thor Borsson - and he looks really good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> This work was translated into Russian by the wonderful tempranillo. The translation can be found [here](https://ficbook.net/readfic/4568705). THANK YOU. 
> 
>  
> 
> (the songs I had on repeat while working on this story: 'Memo' by Years&Years, and the instrumental version of Lana del Rey's 'Summertime Sadness')

 

 

The cat was a burden from Sigyn.

 

She called it _a gift_.

 

“What the hell is this?” he asked the moment he opened the front door and found a grinning Sigyn on the veranda, cradling a – as he would come to learn later – a flame-point Ragdoll with striking blue eyes that seemed almost violet in a certain light.

 

“I’ve brought you a cat!” she exclaimed, all cheerful and ignorant of his building frustration.

 

“No, thank you, bye,” he replied, about to shut the door in his friend’s face, but Sigyn merely pushed her shoulders against it and squeezed herself into the house.

 

“Please, listen to me before you say no,” she pleaded, pressing the cat’s fluffy head against her cheek, cooing at the animal sweetly.

 

Loki rolled his eyes and huffed.

 

“I _already_ said no. _You_ can stay, but the cat’s _not_.”

 

He had to endure the sob story about her darling boyfriend, who was allergic to cats, so she couldn’t keep Narfi, she really couldn’t, but she wanted him to stay with someone that she trusted and was certain would take good care of her _baby boy_.

 

“It was okay before we started living together, but I’m afraid Gunne will either die or have to move out again. His meds aren’t helping at all and I really want to continue living with Gunne.” She giggled and added, “You’ve met him. You’ve seen us together. Even you can tell this is it. I know it, I just _know_ that he’s the one. _Please_ , Loki... Come on. And if Narfi stays with you, I can visit him often without inconveniencing Gunne. Look, I can even pay for all the food and the vet appointments and so on. Just... _please_.”

 

Then, she pulled out the big guns and Loki wanted to scream.

 

“You owe me one,” she said, offering him that doe-eyed, Sigyn-special look that no cold-hearted bastard on the planet could ever hope to ignore.

 

“Fucking _fuck_ ,” he hissed.

 

But in the end, Loki kept the cat. Some days, he even liked the animal. On occasion, he didn’t get pissed off when he watched the TV and the cat would climb into his lap, curling against his stomach and purring at the warmth. He didn’t even get angry anymore when the damn thing started to meow at the bedroom door, announcing that it was time for his breakfast. Eventually, he didn’t mind it so much when he had to take Narfi to the vet for a regular check-up.

 

At one point, when Loki wasn’t paying attention, he got attached to the cat and he knew that even if Sigyn should happen to break up with Gunne, Loki wouldn’t give her the cat back.

 

“You fucking beast,” Loki said when that realisation hit him for the first time, but he just smiled and let the cat sleep on his lap again, just as he had done countless times before.

 

 

 

 

**.**

**.**

**.**

The new neighbour was a disturbance of Loki’s peace.

 

He was forced into Loki’s life, just as the cat had been, and it was the same, blasted cat that introduced him to Thor Borsson.

 

The house across the street was a replica of Loki’s own, as were the other ten houses on the hill overlooking Aspvik, a small town in the Stockholm archipelago. Each house was spacious and white, designed to exhibit external minimalism and modernism. The rear façade of each house was glazed over, giving the homes a sense of airiness and inviting in all the natural light they could get. Regardless of the wall facing the harbour and not the other houses, the first thing that Loki did when he bought his home and moved in was to have thick curtains custom made and delivered as soon as possible. He had no desire to offer his neighbours a live show as soon as night fell, exposing his most private life to others.

 

All the houses had a simple layout, with a sauna, bathroom and bedroom on the upper floor, while the lower floor sported an open-plan kitchen, dining room, living room and a small office that Loki mostly used to store all the books that were not on display on the shelves in his living room and bedroom. In his own home, Loki kept the original minimalist furniture in black, beige and white from the previous owners, feeling no need to embellish the rooms further. He loved the sense and order of organised cleanliness that dominated the house. There was also a terrace that could be reached from the living room and extended into an infinity pool with a view of the pines and the Baltic Sea below. It was not a bad place to live. One of the greatest perks was the isolation and the silence.

 

That changed with the arrival of Thor Borsson, who was quick to disturb the pleasant, established order of Loki’s life.

 

The new neighbour arrived while Loki was in Stockholm to catch up with Sigyn over a cup of tea. When Loki returned in the evening, the moving truck was leaving and the empty house opposite to his home was fully illuminated, a bright-red Volvo S60 Polestar parked on the small gravel drive in front of it. Loki frowned, surprised by the sudden change in the neighbourhood because no one had said anything about the new arrival to their street. Truth be told, there was little chance that someone might have mentioned the news to him because Loki did not interact with his neighbours much. He was a firm believer in and supporter of polite nods and occasional hand waves performed from afar. He engaged in polite small talk only when it could truly not be avoided. When the populace of Didring Street threw the annual picnic in the middle of July, Loki was always on some urgent business trip abroad, which simply translated to him crashing at Sigyn’s for a wild weekend in Stockholm, the one time of the year when he got himself drunk silly on purpose and found himself a nameless man to flirt with on the dance floor, only to leave as he left, with Sigyn as his only company, which was always his own choice.

 

Loki told himself that he wasn’t curious at all. He only glanced at the newly inhabited house briefly and parked his car. He screwed up his face at the fact that his new neighbour – or neigh _bours_ , perhaps a whole family moved in, with children, _dear God_ – drove the same kind of car, only that Loki’s was a different colour, a green so dark that it looked black on a cloudy day. Loki sighed and decided to remain blasé about the whole matter. Nothing would have to change for him and if the new arrivals wanted to introduce themselves and play at being friendly neighbours, he would make it clear to them from the start that he was by no means their go-to person.

 

Unlocking the door, Loki opened it and hissed a curse. Narfi ran between his legs and under his car.

 

“Damn it, cat,” he muttered, walking back to the Volvo to lure Narfi from under it and back into the house. “What’s gotten into you, huh?” he asked, crouching by the car.

 

The cat was absolutely repulsed by the outside world. He tried to acclimatize it to the terrace a few times, but the only things that he got from the experiment were cat scratches along his arms. He was confused about the cat’s sudden and utterly unpredictable escapade.

 

“Come on, get back here or I’m taking you to a shelter first thing in the morning,” he said with a vicious smile on his lips.

 

Narfi simply gave an innocent meow and moved from under the car, running straight towards the house of Loki’s new neighbours, stopping at the front door.

 

“Shit,” Loki said and ran to the neighbours’ drive, trying not to look menacing, although he very much wanted to pulverise the little beast in that very moment.

 

“Hey, Narfi, hey, cat, uh, kitty kitty,” he tried and the cat responded with another meow that sounded like a mockery to Loki. “Get _back_ here,” he ordered angrily.

 

The cat turned around and disappeared through the pet flap in the front door.

 

Loki’s jaw dropped and his hands flew to grab at his hair, the shock of what had just happened taking over for a few seconds.

 

His front door didn’t have a pet flap, so the cat’s move took him completely by surprise.

 

“That’s it, I’m going to kill him and throw him in the sea.”

 

Loki’s arms dropped and he stared at the door, weighing his options. He couldn’t leave the cat in a stranger’s house. He also couldn’t go home and wait for someone to come knocking on his door unannounced. He really doubted that the stupid beast would come back on its own, or return home at a later point. The bottom line was, he had to get the fucking cat back, whether he liked it or not. In that moment, he really hated that the animal was his responsibility, but it _was_ his cat.

 

“Unless I kill you first,” he added aloud.

 

He took a deep breath and walked to the door, looking at the doorbell as if it were something disgusting that he didn’t want to touch. He closed his eyes for a moment, preparing himself for the inevitable torture of explanations and small talk, and pressed the small button, swallowing hard.

 

 _Please, no kids and no happy-go-lucky smug married couples_.

 

No happy-go-lucky people, period.

 

The door opened and Loki had to fight the embarrassing impulse to gasp and gawk at the stranger standing before him, cradling Loki’s cat in his left hand, another cat in the right one.

 

Loki had to suppress the impulse to roll his eyes and speak his mind aloud.

 

 _You have_ got to _be kidding me_.

 

The other cat was a chocolate-coloured Ragdoll, with a white front and paws, staring back at him in the same way that Loki probably did at its owner.

 

Loki felt like a teenager again, his pulse racing, his palms growing sweaty, his breathing suddenly shallow and too loud to his own ears.

 

 _This is stupid_ , he told himself. _The guy’s not even_ that _gorgeous_. _He only seems that way because you haven’t been with anyone in so long_.

 

But Loki knew his mind was only giving him excuses. The man _was_ gorgeous, slightly taller than Loki and bulging with muscles in places that Loki didn’t even know a human being _could_ grow them. He was built like a Greek god; he certainly looked like a statue of one come to life. The white T-shirt certainly didn’t hide anything, but showcased the man’s beautifully sculpted body in a way that seemed entirely unholy. Loki didn’t even dare to contemplate on the tight jeans, or the well-groomed beard that was something he really liked in a man. His new neighbour wore his man-bun as if he’d invented the style and his stupid blue eyes – so fucking blue that it almost hurt Loki’s stomach as it grew tighter by the second – gazed back at him good-naturedly, a small, pleasant smiled plastered to the stupid, beautiful face.

 

 _Fuck_.

 

“Hi,” the man spoke, his voice a deep rumble, giving Loki flashing images of a lithe panther. “Is this little fellow yours?” he asked, lifting Narfi towards Loki.

 

Loki nodded stiffly, berating himself for acting as if he were mentally challenged. He forced himself to say something back, something coherent and intelligent, but all that came out was a pathetic, squeaky “Thanks.”

 

He grabbed his cat and gave him a quick, vicious look before focusing back on his new neighbour. This whole situation was worse than he could have ever imagined it. Why did the guy have to be so good to look at? If Loki could slap himself without looking disturbed in front of his new neighbour, he would have done it by now.

 

The man chuckled, offering his free hand to Loki. “I’m Thor Borsson, your new neighbour.”

 

Loki didn’t dare shake the man’s hand. He was afraid that if he touched Thor, he would implode.

 

 _Fuck you, Thor Borsson_.

 

Luckily, Narfi gave him a perfect excuse to not give in to the handshake, the one good thing the cat had done today, because the animal started struggling in his hands, intent on getting loose.

 

“I’m Loki. Ymirsson,” Loki replied, relief giving him back his usual, collected tone of voice. “I’m really sorry about my cat,” he said, trying to calm Narfi down without giving in to the urge to throttle the damned beast. The cat was lucky that he had managed to grow on Loki. “He normally hates going out of the house, I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

 

“Him, you say?” Thor chuckled again and it made Loki go a little weak at the knees. Thor’s chuckle sounded like molten thunder. Loki had to swallow hard and think about Sigyn’s awful vegan lasagna. It helped, but only a little. “Well, my cat is a she. I guess the little rascal must have smelled her. I mean, I’m only assuming, I’m no cat expert.”

 

Thor petted his cat. “I just call her Kitten, that’s her name, I guess. She was a house-warming present from my mother. I really don’t know what she was thinking when she decided to buy me a pet, but here we are and Kitten is growing on me.”

 

Loki’s throat emitted a nervous laughter.

 

 _Where the fuck did_ that _sound come from_?

 

“My friend dumped Narfi on me. Her boyfriend’s allergic. It happens, right?”

 

Loki had never said so much to any of his neighbours. The situation was hurtling out of his control and he needed to leave.

 

“Anyway, I have to go now,” he said, his voice overly terse even to his own ears, but he didn’t care. Thor had to stay away, and he had to stay away from Thor.

 

“Nice to meet you, Loki,” Thor replied, sounding genuinely pleased.

 

“Sure,” Loki muttered and walked away, focusing entirely on looking effortless and poised, instead of simply scampering off like a brainless twat.

 

When he locked the door of his house and dropped Narfi on the floor, Loki leaned against the wooden frame and exhaled.

 

He could finally breathe normally again.

 

**.**

**.**

**.**

 

Loki woke up to the shrill, buzzing sound of his doorbell.

 

“Oh God,” he moaned and rolled over, disentangling himself from the sateen duvet and checking the alarm clock on the nightstand. 

 

Jesus, why would someone even bother people at 8.30 in the morning?

 

He went to bed four hours ago, having spent the night on his blogging platform, working on the updates and the new features. Sigyn, who was also his business partner, promised to finish the work first thing in the morning with the day team. She was diligent by nature, so he knew she must have finished by now.

 

He padded down the stairs barefoot, wearing his baggy pyjamas and yawning, and cursed when the bell rang again.

 

“Al _right_!” he yelped. He hated the fact that some people just didn’t have boundaries, failing to comprehend that some individuals were night owls or worked nights, or both, as was true for Loki.

 

He threw the door open and his mind cleared of sleepiness immediately.

 

Before him stood Thor, brilliant and magnificent in his bespoke, dark blue suit with subtle white stripes, his golden mane slicked back and trapped in a neatly done bun. He was holding Narfi in his arms, smiling like some benevolent king. He certainly exuded the regal vibe, especially in the morning sun.

 

“Good morning, Loki,” Thor said. “I’m sorry to have woken you up, but your cat came to my house again.” He chuckled. “I guess he really likes it at my place.”

 

Loki took Narfi from Thor’s arms in a daze, confused and at a loss for words.

 

“How did... ”

 

Loki’s only guess was that he must have left a window open.

 

“I think that maybe I should get my cat castrated or something,” Thor continued. “I think that’s what you do, right? These two seem to have taken to each other and I’m totally fine with that, I just don’t think I want more than one pet.”

 

“I’m so sorry,” Loki whispered. “I-I... Yes, best to do that, then,” he agreed lamely.

 

Thor gave him a brilliant smile. “Well, your cat is always welcome in my house, of course, and so are you. Maybe your cat is trying to tell us we should be friends. I’m new here, obviously, and I’d like to get to know my neighbours. Can I invite you to my place for a cup of coffee? Or whatever you like. This afternoon? I’ll be home at six, give or take a few minutes. Are you free?”

 

Loki nodded. “I work from home. I’m a web developer.”

 

“Oh, really?” Thor asked, interest sparking in his eyes. _So blue. Fuck_.

 

Loki had already shared too much. He had no intention of elaborating on that. He preferred to keep his work to himself. In his first year of university, he got bored and started dabbling with a few ideas. He ended up creating a microblogging platform, which started as a joke and came to life just because Loki had nothing better to do. But surprisingly, the thing took off and now, Loki was the owner of Lowk-E. He even had a net worth and the estimated number was staggering. It was completely crazy and a little overwhelming at times, but with Sigyn as his business partner, it was easier to cope with the consequences of one boring week during the Christmas holidays ten years ago. They also had eight other employees that were based in the Stockholm office managed by Sigyn, and Loki drove there once or twice a week to oversee their work. Apparently, he should hire a great deal more of other web developers, the way other similar websites did, but so far, everything had worked just as it should. The less people were involved in his project, the better Loki felt.

 

It had never been about the money. Loki had a shitload of that sitting on his bank account and no idea what to do with it. If he were a different person, he’d dedicate himself to travelling, attending lavish parties and shuffling around celebrities. But Loki didn’t want any of that. Once he’d moved to the isolated, calm world of Didring Street, he felt that he didn’t need anything more. And to think that a decade ago, he was mulling over how he’d make it through the next month, his student job paying him barely enough to cover his half of the rent that he shared with Sigyn.

 

No, it had never been about the money. Lowk-E was _his_ thing, entirely his own, and _no one_ could take _that_ away from him. Most importantly, it didn’t resemble anything that his father would have ever done. All Loki truly needed was remembering that simple fact and he was content, or as content as Loki could ever hope to feel.

 

“Thanks for bringing Narfi back,” Loki said, snapping back to reality. “And again, I’m sorry. I’ll make sure he doesn’t keep bothering you.”

 

Thor furrowed his eyebrows slightly, regarding Loki with open curiosity. “What about that cup of coffee we were talking about? Today, at around six?”

 

“No, thank you,” Loki deadpanned, suppressing the ridiculous onslaught of guilt that followed. “Don’t take this personally, but I don’t do coffee. Ever.”

 

He shut the door and locked it, sighing in exasperation.

 

He tried to go back to sleep, but the strange sense of loss was hard to ignore.

 

“Stupid Thor,” he muttered and got up, giving up on any chance of resting after Thor rattled his entire system.

 

As he was making himself a cup of black coffee, he smiled bitterly.

 

“Thor,” he whispered to himself. “What a stupid name.”

 

 

**.**

**.**

**.**

 

Loki was on his back, floating on the surface of the pool water. It was an uncommonly hot Sunday at the end of June and he needed to cool down, not just his body, but his feverish mind as well.

 

He had Googled Thor. He had actually done it, like some creepy, disturbed, disgusting stalker who didn’t know better.

 

It turned out that Thor was quite an important man, _quite_ being a severe understatement. Thor’s father, Odin Borsson, a well-known media mogul and founder of Glasir Media, passed recently after a long illness, leaving Thor in charge of the company and Thor’s younger brother, Balder, the CEO. Loki was not impressed by Thor’s status and importance. He wondered, rather, what had prompted Thor to seek a new house in Aspvik.

 

He wanted to know what had made Thor _run_.

 

Because for Loki, Didring Street was not just a wonderful home that was entirely his own. It was a sanctuary and a hiding place, and he wished to know if it represented the same things for Thor. Did his father’s death drive Thor away from the hustle and bustle of Stockholm?

 

Was Thor still in mourning and felt the desire to do so in the peace and quiet of a small town by the Baltic Sea?

 

Loki really didn’t need to know that. It made him feel closer to Thor, as if they had something in common that went deeper than the triviality of owning the same kind of car and cat breed. He didn’t want to understand Thor. He felt endangered by the idea alone.

 

Loki curled in on himself and sank under the water in an attempt to drown out any sound around him, hoping that he could drown his nerve-wreaking thoughts as well. After a good minute of staying under the water, he swam back to the surface, taking a slow, deep breath and basking in the sun.

 

His moment of peace was short-lived.

 

He gasped and barely suppressed a high-pitched yelp upon seeing Thor standing at the edge of the pool, smiling at him and holding Narfi in his arms. _Again_.

 

“Holy shit,” Loki muttered.

 

He hadn’t seen Thor in over a week. Loki had been keeping a very good eye on Narfi and made sure to leave the house only when Thor’s car was gone, returning home late in the night.

 

He cursed himself in his mind. He hadn’t closed the terrace door well enough, he could see that now.

 

“Hi,” Thor greeted him cheerfully, looking amused. “Look who found his way back to Kitten.”

 

Thor didn’t seem the slightest bit awkward or uncomfortable after their last interaction, which had included Loki’s rejection. He seemed to be at ease and too delicious for words, wearing a red tank top, a pair of black shorts and white flip-flops. He looked both ridiculous and sinfully good, making Loki want to slip under the water again and stay at the bottom of the pool until Thor left.

 

“How did you get here?” Loki demanded, snapping back to reality, his tone laced with annoyance and frustration.

 

His behaviour didn’t startle Thor. “Oh, I tried the doorbell, but you didn’t answer, obviously. I figured you were out on the terrace since your car’s parked out front, so I just went around the house. I hope that’s okay.”

 

Of course it wasn’t okay. Loki was _naked_ in the pool, seeing no reason to bother with speedos since he was alone. Or was, until Thor came and ruined everything. But Loki didn’t point out any of that.

 

“Yes, it’s fine,” he replied, keeping his voice formally polite and composed. “I apologise for my cat’s behaviour. I’ll take care of it. But thank you for bringing him back. Just... put him in the house, can you? And shut the terrace door, thank you.”

 

Thor tilted his head and gave Loki a cryptic half-smile, unnerving Loki to the core. How did Thor have the _gall_ to crawl his way under Loki’s skin? What an utter, perfect bastard! No, scratch perfect, just a bastard.

 

“Okay,” Thor said and did as Loki had told him.

 

When he was done, Thor walked back to the edge of the pool, resting his hands on his hips, regarding Loki with amusement.

 

“You know, I’m pretty good at reading people,” Thor began, “and I can tell you have a problem with me, and I think I know what it is.”

 

Loki’s heart began to race and he gulped, but he had no intention of letting Thor have the upper hand. “Is that right?” he taunted, narrowing his eyes at Thor. “How quaint of you to think that you know me.”

 

“I didn’t say that I _know_ you. I just know what you _want_ , or are afraid to want.” Thor chuckled. “And I’m pretty sure that if I try to talk to you about it, you’ll just shut me out because that’s what you do, don’t you? Keep people at a safe distance, as far away from you as possible?”

 

Loki gnashed his teeth. “I don’t think – ”

 

He didn’t get the chance to finish the thought. He was cut off by a splash of water in his face and he gasped in panic as he realised that Thor had just jumped into the pool, clothes and all, and came back up right in front of Loki, their chests touching, their faces so close that for a moment, Loki’s vision of Thor’s face was cross-eyed.

 

“I just prefer to take action to solve a problem,” Thor spoke softly, putting his large palms on Loki’s bare hips and pressing Loki’s front against his.

 

“ _What the hell are you doing_?” Loki demanded, his voice embarrassingly high-pitched.

 

He pushed against Thor’s shoulders and was met with taut, warm flesh, pleasantly hard and inviting under his fingers. He wanted to touch Thor so much, explore his flesh, learn the contours of his body. Loki simply _wanted_ Thor. But this was too much. He hadn’t been so intimately close to anyone in years. He was not ready. He didn’t want to be ready. He couldn’t afford to be vulnerable, laid bare for someone in order to be torn apart and made weak. Panic and lust were battling in his stomach, making his lungs and his cock ache at the same time.

 

For all of Thor’s bravado that he could read people well, he either missed what was happening inside Loki’s brain, or simply chose to ignore it.

 

“Taking action,” Thor replied, winking. “I really don’t have much patience for words.”

 

Suddenly, Thor’s mouth was on his, pressing hard and sure. Thor’s lips enveloped Loki’s bottom one, spicing up the gesture with a soft nip of teeth. Loki opened his mouth to yell at Thor, but Thor took the opportunity to shut Loki up in advance, invading his mouth with his tongue and sliding it along Loki’s own. Loki moaned before he could stop himself, his nails sinking into the flesh of Thor’s shoulders, but instead of pushing Thor away, he pulled him in, returning the kiss.

 

The hot, wet feeling of someone’s tongue moving against his own had Loki reeling and all reason abandoned him, bleeding out of his brain in one pathetic trickle. It _had_ been too long and his senses were on fire. His skin crackled as Thor’s fingers moved up his sides, gently pausing to worship at every rib on their way to Loki’s throat. They circled the shallow dip between Loki’s clavicles, tracing the pronounced bones, and slid across Loki’s shoulders to pay attention to the knobby line of Loki’s spine.

 

Loki broke the kiss to breathe, sighing against Thor’s chin, keeping his eyes closed and enjoying the daze. Thor left a peck on Loki’s nose and moved down to the column of his neck, tasting Loki’s skin with gentle bites, making Loki whine deep in his throat. Briefly, he thought that he sounded like a desperate, shameless whore, but at this point, Loki was past caring about anything but Thor’s hands and lips on his body.

 

Loki started to rub his hard-on against Thor’s clothed stomach, needing the grinding friction, wanting to come in the company of someone else, rather than just his own hand; not just that, but with Thor’s help, specifically.

 

“Please,” he whimpered against Thor’s chest, the only word he could speak in that moment.

 

The brontide of Thor’s pleased, possessive growl washed over him and Loki was completely pliant when Thor grabbed his face and kissed him hard, their teeth knocking together.

 

And then, it all stopped.

 

Loki watched in shock as Thor waded away from him and pulled himself out of the water in one elegant move, leaving Loki desperately aroused and _pining_ for Thor’s touch.

 

“I really want to get to know you, Loki,” Thor said in a careless, nonchalant way, as if their passionate make-out session had not just happened.

 

Loki gaped at him, too shocked and filled with indignation to scream at Thor for what he’d just done to him.

 

“So,” Thor continued, “think about having that cup of coffee with me, whenever you want to. I’m leaving that up to you. I truly hope you’re not too proud for that because I _really_ want to continue where we left off. You feel and taste as amazing as you look.”

 

Thor gave him a wide smile and turned around, dripping wet, starting to walk away from Loki.

 

Loki finally found his voice.

 

“ _Fuck you, you dick_!” Loki yelled, absolutely livid and shaking from it.

 

“Sure thing, but only if you’re helping with that,” Thor shouted back, never turning back until he rounded the corner of the house and disappeared from Loki’s view.

 

Loki slapped the surface of the water.

 

He pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes, sinking under the water to scream out his feelings.

 

Thor was the greatest bastard that Loki had ever encountered.

 

Well, almost.

 

But still, Thor was a major bastard and an obnoxious arsehole.

 

He dared to touch Loki, expose his desires and taunt him with childish games. Loki was completely humiliated and hurt by the betrayal because what Thor had pulled on him was definitely betrayal. The problem was that Loki was enjoying every moment with him until Thor made a grand fool of him, leaving Loki a pathetic, needy mess, longing for more of Thor’s kisses and touches.

 

Well, Loki would have none of that.

 

He _was_ proud, Thor was right about that, and Loki would show him just how much he cared about the pride that Thor dragged through the mud.

 

Loki resurfaced and pulled himself out of the pool.

 

Oh yes, Thor would pay for his insolence.

 

Later, Loki jerked himself off in the shower, thinking about Thor the entire time.

 

**.**

**.**

**.**

 

 

Sigyn came over for a movie night two days after _the incident_ , as Loki called it now, bringing with her a large bag filled with vegan snacks.

 

“What the hell is this?” Loki asked with an unimpressed frown as she was unloading everything onto the kitchen counter.

 

“My snacks,” she replied matter-of-factly. “You’re free to join in or resort to your usual popcorn and crisps, but _my_ snacks are home-made, delicious and healthy. Here,” she continued and opened a small Tupperware container. “Even _you_ will love this. Try one; it’s called a strawberry oat square.”

 

Loki wrinkled his nose at the proffered snack, but took it anyway, taking a small, cautious bite.

 

“I hate you,” he said, admitting defeat, and Sigyn grinned, doing a little victory dance on the spot.

 

Loki smirked and took the container with the strawberry oat squares. “These are mine. Help yourself to the rest of it, all of which looks brown, so go ahead.”

 

Sigyn rolled her eyes. “Jerk.” Then, she smiled, that special Sigyn smile that made Loki suspicious because it meant that she was up to something. “So,” she drawled, resting her elbows on the counter and her chin on the heels of her palms. “You didn’t tell me you have a new neighbour. A very _hot_ new neighbour.”

 

Loki stopped chewing for a moment and swallowed hard, grimacing as the too big, hard lump crawled down his throat in painful slow motion. “What about him?” he croaked, coughing.

 

“He seems nice. Waved at me, introduced himself. Mentioned a _cat problem_.”

 

Loki cleared his throat, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible. “There’s really nothing more to say, Sigyn. I have a new neighbour, _your_ cat wants to hump his cat and keeps finding ways to get into Thor’s house. And speaking of that, you need to tell me what to do with the furry little shit. He used to hate it if I opened _one_ window in front him. Now I can’t keep him inside. Do something, or you’re getting the cat back and I don’t care if Gunne sneezes his brains out.”

 

Sigyn exhaled loudly in mock exasperation, shaking her head. “Cut the crap, Loki. First of all, it’s _your_ cat now, you made that clear to me. You _know_ you love Narfi. And second of all, tell me what’s going on between you and the Greek god across the street, or I’m uploading that new feature you’re so dead-set against and I’ll make sure you can’t override the command. I may or may not know a hacker or two.”

 

“ _Sigyn_ ,” Loki snarled in warning and she just crossed her arms over her chest in challenge, glaring at him with all the confidence that she possessed.

 

Loki gave in and told her everything. After all, she was his best friend. She was more than that.

 

Sigyn was family.

 

“Oh, wow,” she said, sighing dreamily. “That’s so sexy, what he did. I love Gunne to death, but I wish he was more assertive like that sometimes.”

 

Loki rolled his eyes. “Ah, _screw_ you, Sig.”

 

“Come _on_ , Loki. Of _course_ you’re going to do _something_ about Thor, right?”

 

Loki smirked. “Yes, I am. I’m getting back at the bastard, that’s what I’m doing about Thor. I just haven’t come up with the perfect prank just yet. It’s a work in progress.”

 

Sigyn looked at him as if he’d just kicked a puppy or stole bread from a hungry orphan.

 

“Don’t give me that look, Sigyn.”

 

She shook her head at him in disappointment. “Loki... Oh, Loki. Revenge is beneath you. And over something so... I don’t know, Loki, I just don’t know.”

 

“Thor humiliated me!” he shouted, shivering with anger that was laced with want because every time he thought about Thor, desire would start to boil in his stomach and he didn’t want it.

 

“When was the last time you were with someone, even if only for a night? Kvasir happened three years ago. He was wonderful, intelligent, a poet, always nice and completely in love with you. The moment he told you that and you realised you were happy, you bolted. Why do you keep doing that to yourself?”

 

Loki looked at the floor, squaring his jaw as he quoted his favourite author like a well-rehearsed mantra. “Happiness consumes itself like a flame. It cannot burn for ever, it must go out, and the presentiment of its end destroys it at its very peak.”

 

Sigyn grumbled, hitting the counter with an outstretched palm. “Damn it, Loki! Do you ever read anything else? Always Strindberg. Strindberg and his madness and his misery. You only stick to what you know, to what you can _control_. Look at this house! The whole place looks the same as it did on the day you moved in. It’s entirely impersonal. There’s no _you_ in it. It’s as if this kind of life is your safety precaution, so you can run away again at the first opportunity, with as little effort as possible.”

 

“Don’t psychoanalyse me and stop telling me how I should live my life! I’m happy with how things are and if you can’t accept my way, that’s _your_ problem, _not_ mine.”

 

“Happy?” Sigyn scoffed. “You would call yourself _happy_ , Loki?”

 

She walked over to him and looked him in the eyes, resting her hands on his shoulders.

 

“I understand that you’re scared, Loki, and that you feel like you’re not ready,” she spoke gently, “but maybe it’s time you worked on that. I think you _are_ ready, you’re just afraid to try. I really think you should give Thor a chance. I know you and I can tell that you like him, even though you fight against it like the stubborn prig that you are.”

 

“ _No_ ,” Loki snapped back. “I’m going to watch a movie now,” he added coldly, walking towards the living room, discarding their conversation. “You coming or not?”

 

“Fine!” Sigyn yelled after him. “Have it your way! Take your revenge because someone got under your skin, had you lose control and made you feel again, go on, do it.”

 

Loki stopped abruptly, his back to Sigyn, his spine rigid and his shoulders tense.

 

“Yeah, you should totally get back at Thor,” Sigyn continued, sarcasm dripping from her words. “Sure, you swore to yourself that you would never do anything that Laufey did or would have done. And hey, retribution is _exactly_ his thing, isn’t it?”

 

“Sigyn, stop,” Loki demanded.

 

She ignored him. “Go ahead, be petty and blind and stupid, _just_ like your father. Don’t let anyone in, ever again. That’s what Laufey always did best, chase people away with his coldness and cruelty. Be like him, Loki. Go on. Treat people the way he treated you, your brothers, your mother. _Do it_.”

 

“ _Stop it_!” Loki screamed, throwing the container of snacks in his hands against the floor and walking back to Sigyn, shaking her by the shoulders so violently that she screamed.

 

She looked scared.

 

Sigyn was afraid of him and Loki wanted to throw up.

 

The look in her eyes –

 

It was so much like what he used to see in his mother.

 

Every time his mother stepped between him and Laufey’s punishing hand, she had that same look.

 

Every time Loki and his brothers were abused with Laufey’s insults, she had that look in her eyes.

 

Every time after one of the regular fights in their household, as she huddled Býleistr, Helblindi and Loki together, wiping her sons’ tears away with trembling fingers and lying to them that it would be better next time, she looked like that.

 

Her eyes shone with that kind of fear on the day Laufey exposed her secret to her face, the fact that she found comfort in the arms of another man. The horrible things that Laufey said to her when he came home from work, blaming her for all the failures in his life, accusing her that his sons were probably not even his – they still rang in Loki’s ears.

 

How she trembled then.

 

Loki was almost fifteen. He should have _done_ something, but he was too weak.

 

He should have stepped in front of her and the bullet coming for her as Laufey took his revenge with a gun, just as she had always taken the blows meant for Loki whenever she was there to spare her son.

 

Loki did it, but only when it was too late. He screamed at Laufey and hurtled himself at his father as his mother fell to the ground, a bleeding hole gaping in the middle of her chest, her beautiful green eyes so terribly dull.

 

Laufey shot him in the stomach and Loki woke up in the hospital much later, only to learn that his younger brothers weren’t so lucky. They didn’t survive Laufey’s rage, and neither did Laufey, who was killed in a crossfire by a police officer.

 

Loki wished that the doctors hadn’t saved him. 

 

He wanted to die.

 

He wanted to die for a long time until he was placed in foster care with the Vanir family, where he met Sigyn, the daughter of his caregivers, Freya and Odr.

 

Life with the Vanirs wasn’t easy, but it was still better than what Loki had known before.

 

On the outside, the Vanirs were a picture perfect family, but in truth, the relationships between them were rotten, stemming from the long-lasting cold war between Freya and Odr. He was on the verge of going into politics and taking in a foster child was a calculated move, the idea for which grew in Freya’s cunning head. They were always kind to Loki, making sure he had all the attention and care he needed, paying for a therapist to help him cope with the tragedy that still followed him everywhere all the way from Luleå. They enrolled him in a good school and gave him a humble monthly allowance.

 

They were indifferent to their own daughter.

 

Sigyn was the key element of a dirty family secret, possibly a by-product of an incestuous affair between her mother and Freya’s twin, whom Loki had never met. Loki was still not sure if anything of an amorous nature had ever happened between Freya and Freyr, but Odr suspected and resented. And Freya – Freya was simply not a woman who was born to be a mother. But Odr and Freya stayed together because their marriage had more benefits than a divorce ever could.

 

While Odr and Freya were too busy playing mind games with each other, an unbreakable bond grew between Loki and Sigyn. She needed someone to understand her and love her. Loki needed a reason to live and Sigyn gave him plenty with her boundless energy and optimism that persisted inside her despite the miserable life she’d had.

 

She slept in Loki’s bed every night, so he was never alone when he woke up from his nightmares. She made plans with him for their life after they’d leave her parents’ house as soon as they’d turn eighteen. (And as soon as they did, they left, refusing any financial help from Freya and Odr.) She bought him a new book or CD every week, feeding his love for literature and piano music, although they were on a tight budget. (Satie and Debussy, Turgenev, Isabel Allende and Anna Akhmatova always made him feel peaceful because they were inextricably linked to Sigyn.) She was the one who accompanied him to the weekly sessions with his therapist. She listened to him, and talked to him, and loved him. Carefully and patiently, she mended the broken pieces of his soul, gluing them back together with her unconditional devotion and affection.

 

And now, she was staring at him with eyes brimming with tears and fear.

 

Loki released her, taking a few staggering steps backwards.

 

“Sigyn, I’m so sorry,” he rasped, raking his fingers through his hair, appalled at himself.

 

“Loki, don’t,” she whispered and ran into his arms, hugging him as tight as she could. Only Sigyn would do that. Only she could be so hopeful and foolish.

 

“I’m so sorry,” he repeated, tears crawling down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“It’s okay,” she said, stroking his hair, kissing his cheek. “It’s okay, Loki.”

 

She cupped his face and made him look at her.

 

“I have a proposition for you,” she said softly.

 

“What is it?” he muttered, sniffing.

 

“Stop running, Loki. Stop running and I’ll forgive you.”

 

 

**.**

**.**

**.**

 

 

Loki was measuring the small foyer of his house with frantic steps, checking his watch every two minutes.

 

He let Narfi out – on purpose – nearly half an hour ago. Thor should have come by now. Loki knew he was at home because he saw the car parked outside Thor’s house.

 

Loki actually dressed up for the occasion, opting for the black jeans that fit him as if they’d been painted on his legs, and a dark green shirt, for which Sigyn had often said would get him into trouble. He even went to the lengths of wearing cologne. He slicked his hair back, letting them curl at the nape of his neck, something he knew tended to attract attention.

 

All that effort and Thor was nowhere in sight.

 

“Screw it,” Loki muttered to himself and went across the street himself, attacking Thor’s doorbell, avoiding any special deliberations of his mind; he just did it.

 

He stopped when he heard Thor’s muffled shout from inside. “Alright, calm down, I’m coming! Geez!”

 

Thor opened the door, holding his phone in one hand, and blinked in surprise. “Loki. Hi.”

 

Loki had to take a deep breath first. Thor looked absurdly good in casual clothes, wearing a pair of ripped blue jeans and a simple red T-shirt. He was also barefoot and his hair was a bit messy and loose, caressing his bearded chin just right. Loki wanted to gulp.

 

“My cat’s gone,” Loki said without any preamble. “Is he here?”

 

Thor nodded, opening the door wider. “Yeah. Yeah, he is. I was on the phone with my mother, or I would’ve taken him back sooner. Sorry.”

 

Loki just shrugged, flashing Thor a brief smile. “Well, since I’m here already, do you have any green tea?”

 

Thor just stared at him in surprise and Loki rolled his eyes.

 

“I like green tea, Thor. Green tea with a slice of lemon and a lump of sugar. A strange combination to some, but I love it. So hold the coffee. I only have one cup of that in the morning, not because I need it to wake up, but because it’s an old habit I picked up from my friend before she went all vegan on her diet. I blame her environmentally-obsessed boyfriend for that.”

 

Loki swallowed, hoping that Thor wouldn’t make a big deal out of this, that he wouldn’t comment on Loki’s past rejection and snarky behaviour.

 

Thor’s mouth stretched into a wide smile. “Come in, then. I’ll make you a cup of green tea.”

 

Loki released an inconspicuous breath of relief and fo

llowed Thor into the kitchen, taking surreptitious glances at the furniture and the decor.

Loki was amused to discover that Thor was definitely a fan of dark Ikea furniture, with an occasional white piece serving as a contrast. He had framed bright photographs of scenes from nature on the walls and from afar, Loki could see that one wall of Thor’s living room had a beautifully detailed and coloured fresco of the solar system, with a red-and-blue nebula serving as the background. So, Thor liked nature and space. This appealed to Loki.

 

“So, where are our cats?” Loki asked as they arrived at the kitchen and Thor started to pour water into a tea kettle.

 

Thor chuckled. “Last time I checked, sleeping on my bed upstairs.”

 

“Oh shit, I hope Narfi didn’t...you know.” He waved his arms awkwardly in a nondescript gesture.

 

Thor shook his head. “I already took Kitten to the vet after his first visit, so the kids are okay, Loki.”

 

That made Loki smile and he wasn’t afraid to show it. Not anymore. He might become used to getting to know a new person again. He had never been very good at it, especially when physical attraction was involved, but just looking at Thor’s face made him considering that Thor might just be worth the effort. Shit, that mouth had been on his, of course Thor was worth the effort.

 

“So,” Loki began. “What brought you to Aspvik?”

 

Thor leaned his hip against the counter across from Loki as he waited for the water to boil, resting his palms on top of it. He exhaled a soft whistle of breath, puffing out his cheeks a little. He looked adorable that way and Loki fought against blushing.

 

“It’s a bit of a downer, really, the reason why I came here,” Thor said, scratching the back of his head apologetically. “You sure you want this to be your first question about my life?”

 

Loki nodded, silently waiting for Thor to continue.

 

“Okay, then. Well, my dad died a few weeks ago and I had to take charge of his company. A lot was going on all of a sudden and I needed some space to just... you know, mourn him properly and get accustomed to my new responsibilities on my own terms. Adjust to a life without him. He was a really strong presence, still is.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway...I find it easier to drive the forty minutes to work every day and then back, than to be constantly in the spotlight, you know? At one point, you just get really tired of people asking you how you’re feeling and telling them that you’re fine because the real answer is too complicated.”

 

“I know,” Loki agreed quietly, sensing the danger of Thor growing on him because they were so alike in some ways, but he chose to ignore it without regret. “So, I guess your mother didn’t want you to be alone, hence the cat,” he added, trying to veer the conversation into a lighter territory.

 

Thor chuckled. “She worries too much. Ideally, she would have me married and adopting a baby, so she can boast about having grandkids, but it’s just me and the cat for now.”

 

Loki swallowed. He felt a little overwhelmed in Thor’s company, baffled by the fact that he was actually having a normal conversation with someone who wasn’t Sigyn and learning intimate details about their life. He just needed a moment to breathe and relax. He was basically a complete novice to all of it, very unpractised and self-conscious. It was so much easier to build walls than to tear them apart.

 

“Can I, uhm... Can I check out that fresco I saw in your living room?”

 

“Sure. Feel free to explore. I’ll be with you in a few moments.”

 

Loki hurried out of the kitchen and controlled his breathing, trying to keep it calm. This evening didn’t have to be a big thing, and it wasn’t. It was just a chat and a cup of tea with the new neighbour. Right?

 

In the living room, there were two glass display cabinets on each side of the widescreen TV. The left side stored DVDs, mostly of sci-fi and superhero movies. There were also some black-and-white horror classics among them. Loki had actually seen _The Innocents_ , so they could talk about that if all else failed. The right side boasted an assortment of video games and comic books. The space of wall above the TV had two crossed lightsabers attached to it and Loki stifled an affectionate snicker, moving on to the beautiful fresco that was his original destination. His fingers traced the smooth path of Earth’s orbit slowly, the red of the nebula in the background making him think of a poem he loved.

 

“The rim of the sky will be the colour of hard crimson,” he whispered, “and your heart, as it was then, will be on fire.” He smiled to himself. “You will hear thunder and remember me.”

 

“What was that?” Thor said behind him and Loki snapped back from his drifting thoughts, facing Thor with a quick turn.

 

Thor smiled and set a tray with two steaming cups of tea and a plate of cookies on the coffee table next to the long and wide black futon.

 

“Oh, nothing,” Loki replied, shoving his trembling hands into the jean pockets. “I was just thinking about how much of a nerd you are.”

 

Thor laughed. “Figured that out already, huh? Well, I’m not ashamed of it, so go ahead and mock me, if you will, but I won’t be bothered.”

 

“No, I have no intention of mocking you. Well, almost no intention. Depends on how well you prepared my tea,” Loki said and flopped himself on the futon.

 

Thor sat himself right next to him and looked straight into Loki’s eyes. Loki winced a little, tempted to slide just a few centimetres away from Thor, but forced himself to stay put.

 

“So, space. Why do you like space so much?”

 

“I’m afraid my answer to that is pure cliché, but the truth is, I love it because it calms me down. When I was a kid, I had the most obnoxious temper tantrums,” at which Loki smirked and Thor chuckled, “and I’d go sulk onto the trampoline in my parents’ garden, jumping and screaming sometimes, but mostly just to sulk. One day, I stayed until it got dark and I watched the stars, really watched them, for the first time, winking down at me in silence. I had so many questions, but no answers, and I liked it that way. We’ll never have all the answers concerning space and it doesn’t change a thing. There’s no pressure, no tension, no judgement. Just the unlimited vastness of the space above me and the beauty of the stars. I have a telescope on the back veranda if you’re interested.”

Loki just smiled, feeling pleasantly overwhelmed by Thor’s answer.

 

“Anyway, yeah, whenever I need to relax and re-think my life, I look at the stars and just let go. I don’t know, it’s my thing.”

 

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Books do that for me,” Loki confessed.

 

Thor grinned. “Are you telling me you’re some kind of book nerd?”

 

Loki grinned back at him, giving a breathy chuckle. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

 

Loki took a sip of his tea, liking it hot. “Hmm, this is good. You’re not hopeless, then.”

 

“Oh, I’m _definitely_ not hopeless in the kitchen. I’ve been told I’m a good cook. How about I invite you over for dinner sometime and you be the judge of that? No pressure, though. Just a friendly invitation.”

 

Loki cleared his throat, focusing on breathing normally. “I’d like that, actually.”

 

“So, no coffee, but yes to green tea and food?” Thor teased.

 

Loki rolled his eyes. “Yes. As long as it’s not vegan, though. You’re not vegan, are you?”

 

It was enough to have to endure healthy dinners at Sigyn and Gunne’s. Two vegan people in his life were quite enough. Not that being vegan was bad, but Loki did love to eat well.

 

“No worries there, Loki. I’m just your regular omnivore with a very sweet tooth.”

 

They both laughed at that.

 

“I’m glad you changed your mind about coming for a visit, Loki,” Thor spoke gently.

 

Loki didn’t know what to say to that, which tended to happen to him whenever he was in Thor’s company. Thor had the uncanny ability to render him speechless and vulnerable, and Loki took a shuddering breath, curling one corner of his lips into a half smile.

 

“Stranger things have happened,” he murmured, a lame attempt at filling the silence that followed Thor’s statement.

 

“Well, it’s nice to have you here,” Thor replied and kissed Loki on the cheek, moving away with a grin.

 

Something shattered inside Loki, opening a dam of desire he had been holding back for a long time, letting it build to gargantuan proportions.

 

Thor awakened something in him on the day that they made out in Loki’s pool and Sigyn helped him understand it after their fight yesterday, urging him to allow himself to jump into this new situation, explore it and enjoy it. Right now, Loki really wanted to do just that and he didn’t have the will to deny himself any longer.

 

Sigyn was right.

 

And it was so simple – he really, really liked Thor. It was the most natural thing in the world and although a part of Loki still resorted to his old beliefs and principles that something so beautiful couldn’t last and that he should run away before he was hurt, he didn’t turn his back to his need to just be with Thor.

 

Loki leaned forward and plastered his lips over Thor’s before his fears changed his mind. He twisted his fingers into Thor’s shirt and shivered with the elation of Thor responding to his want, their tongues surging towards each other in the same moment. Thor’s fingers threaded through his hair, his thumbs tracing the shells of Loki’s ears, and Loki gasped, breaking the kiss with a moan.

 

“Wait, aren’t we supposed to talk first?” he teased, panting as Thor nipped down Loki’s neck. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

 

“You’re here because you want to be here,” Thor murmured against Loki’s Adam’s apple, tracing its shape with the tip of his tongue. “That’s enough for now. We can talk later.”

 

“Fuck,” Loki whined, shivering as Thor’s fingers untucked Loki’s shirt and sneaked underneath it, mapping out the shape and feel of Loki’s stomach, slowly venturing upwards until they reached Loki’s nipples and tweaked them.

 

Thor chuckled, a deep, throaty rumble, as Loki yelped and pushed against Thor’s shoulders. Loki pressed him against the futon, appreciating how easily Thor went down; Thor, who was so much bigger and stronger than him, allowing Loki to settle between his thick thighs. Loki usually preferred to be the one on top because that way, he was in charge, less exposed, not required to let his guard down at all. Allowing someone to take him had been a threatening notion, leaving him insecure every time he so much as gave it a thought, so he had only found himself in the position of a bottom once, with Kvasir, and he cried afterwards because it felt as if something important had been taken from him. Soon after, Kvasir told him he loved him and Loki fled.

 

But this time, Loki needed to be laid bare and uncovered, and he did not know how to continue, so he just stared at Thor nervously, hoping Thor would know what to do.

 

“Loki? What is it?” Thor asked, his breathing still quick and shallow, a wonderful testament to his arousal, all of which was Loki’s work.

 

Loki shook his head, swallowing. “I want _you_ to...I just...”

 

 _Hold me down_ went unspoken between them, but somehow, Thor caught the meaning and flipped their positions before Loki could register the movement. Loki found his wrists pinned against the futon and at first, his heart squeezed in panic, but then, he realised that Thor was holding him down only with the strength of one single arm and Loki moaned, arching against him. Without a word, Thor unbuttoned Loki’s green shirt with the deft fingers of his free hand, exposing Loki’s heaving chest to his eyes and the way Thor rumbled in appreciation, looking at Loki as if he were a sumptuous feast, made Loki wrap his legs around Thor’s hips and push upwards.

 

The moment of friction had the both of them grumbling into each other’s mouths as their lips sought each other. Loki protested with a displeased whine as Thor’s lips left his too soon, but Thor started dragging his teeth down the column of Loki’s neck, testing the sharpness of his collarbones, the hardness of his peaked nipples, and Loki was well on the way to unravelling completely. By the time Thor reached his belly button and dipped his tongue inside, swirling it leisurely, Loki was panting to the point of hyperventilation and Thor let go of his wrists with a Cheshire grin, raking his blunt nails down the underside of Loki’s arms and across his ribs, coaxing a wrecked sob out of Loki’s throat.

 

No one had made Loki feel this way before, so shattered and dismantled, only to be rebuilt with every new touch. Arousal spiked through his body like wildfire, but he had never been more clear-headed during moments of intimacy, hyper-aware of every sensation. Thor only had to brush his skin, make sounds of pleasure, simply look at him, and Loki was both high and awake. It felt as if Thor was digging his way inside all the way to Loki’s core, settling in Loki’s very bone marrow, and it was a strange feeling, but more importantly, it was incredible. Loki had always scoffed at the romantic myth of an _instant connection_ between two people. It felt far-fetched, the thing of novels and movies. But now, everything was changing so fast, proving him wrong and turning him into a fervent believer. How could one person feel so right? Because the truth was that he still knew very little about Thor, but it was enough and Thor simply _felt right_ lying on top of him.

 

Loki sighed as Thor took off his shirt, revealing his sculpted torso that made Loki swallow hard, and pulled down Loki’s jeans and briefs in one go. Loki hurried to get rid of the rest of his own shirt, eager to feel Thor’s skin against his. Loki whimpered as Thor removed his jeans, exposing an engorged, thick cock that had Loki salivating in an instant. A part of him was afraid because Thor was well hung, and Loki couldn’t have expected anything else from a man who was built like a marble warrior from ancient times, but the larger part of him was giddy with excitement. Loki wanted _that_ inside him at some point and the thought didn’t repel him one bit.

 

He reached his trembling hands toward Thor, silently begging him to press his skin against his, and Thor complied, crawling between Loki’s spread legs and splaying his chest against his. Loki cried out weekly and when their erections touched, grazing each other teasingly, Loki keened, cupping Thor’s face desperately.

 

“Because you’re so genuine and familiar,” he confessed against Thor’s lips before he could stop himself. “That’s why I really came here. And you fucking terrify me because you found your way under my skin so fast. And I like it.”

 

Loki’s breath hitched in his throat and he let go of Thor’s face, covering his own because he was so embarrassed by the sudden outburst of emotion.

 

“Hey, hey, don’t,” Thor said softly, prying Loki’s fingers away with patient determination. “I’m so glad you told me this. Loki, come on, look at me.”

 

Loki opened his eyes slowly, releasing a quivering breath, and his gaze widened at the look of pure want in Thor’s eyes.

 

“I like you, too, you already know that I do,” Thor said, smiling, “and I’ll try to never push your limits, but whenever you feel like telling me anything, you can do that, okay? You don’t have to be embarrassed around me. Especially not right now, considering that both our cocks are out and ready to go.”

 

Loki couldn’t help but laugh at that. His laugh soon morphed into a needy gasp as Thor’s hand embraced both their cocks and Thor started to grind his body against his, never breaking eye contact. The amount of pre-come leaking down their pricks helped ease the way and Thor worked them expertly. Looking at each other the entire time intensified the sensations and for a time, Loki could physically feel the connection between them, pulsing across the surface of his heated, sweaty skin. For one crazy moment, he believed that he could easily fall in love with Thor and stay with him forever. He bit his lip at the thought, moaning deeply. Thor traced his lower lip with the fingers of his free hand, offering a pleasure-wrecked smile, and to Loki, no man had ever looked more beautiful.

At one point, when Thor swirled his thumb over the crown of Loki’s cock just right, scraping the glans with the nail on its retreat, Loki had to break their eye contact, his neck arching back. The approaching climax was licking the bottom of his spine, tightening his belly by the second, and he released a hoarse wail that he could hardly recognise as his own. Thor was panting against his cheeks, leaving kisses along his cheekbones, and Loki knew he was about to come mortifyingly too soon, but Thor’s cock rutting against his, Thor’s hands, Thor’s kisses – the whole of Thor felt exasperatingly good, and Loki needed to come undone.

 

Loki’s release rattled through him, his spine bowing, his body seeking more contact by instinct, and pleasure suffused him, ripping a broken cry from his throat. He let go completely, the aftershocks of his sexual bliss washing over him, Thor’s name a breathy mantra on his tongue.

 

“Thor...Don’t stop, Thor, _don’t stop_ , _Thor_ ,” he whined despite the oversensitivity of his cock because he still needed more.

 

He was greedy to feel Thor come grinding against his prick, to cover him in his release. He soaked in Thor’s increasingly cracked moans, the faltering pace of Thor’s hips, the friction that almost rubbed Loki’s cock raw, and then, finally, Thor’s overwhelming grunt as Thor orgasmed, spraying Loki’s stomach that was already covered in his own spunk. The mess should bother Loki, but it hardly did, and when Thor fell on him, spreading their come across both their stomach, Loki really didn’t care anymore.

 

He embraced Thor, stroking the skin of his wide back with languid movements, basking in the haze of post-coital satisfaction. Thor hummed against his throat, giving it a soft peck.

 

“Our cats are staring at us,” Thor murmured, giving a weak chuckle, and Loki’s head snapped to the side.

 

He narrowed his gaze at the cats that were looking at their half-naked, intertwined bodies as if they were of no particular importance.

 

“Stupid cats,” he muttered, burrowing his face into Thor’s damp hair.

 

Thor lazily moved from between Loki’s legs and settled on his side with his shoulder blades settled against the back of the futon. He put his hands around Loki’s shoulders and pushed him back against his chest, tucking Loki’s head under his chin.

 

“Ignore the cats, babe,” he said and Loki blinked at the word. _Babe_.

 

Thor was definitely quick to show affection. He already seemed to have chosen an affectionate nickname for Loki after only one wonderful make-out session and an incredible bout of sex – and Loki liked that. He smiled to himself and settled his arms between himself and Thor’s chest to keep warm. He didn’t want to move, not even to get cleaned or find a thin blanket. Thor emanated enough heat for the both of them, anyway, and Loki felt so good in his arms that, had Loki been a cat, he’d be purring.

 

He smirked against Thor’s chest at the thought, slightly aware of the animals behind his back, but luckily, Thor’s presence was overwhelming and he dozed off before he could spare another thought. 

 

**.**

**.**

**.**

 

When they both woke up a couple of hours later, sticky and cold, Loki turned around and pressed his back against Thor’s chest.

 

He wanted to be open with Thor, but he was new to all of this and it was easier this way.

 

The need to share facts from his life with Thor was startling because he barely knew the man, and yet, if felt as if he’d known Thor all his life.

 

So Loki told him his story, and Thor listened, never interrupting, only hugging Loki tighter, ignoring an occasional tear sliding down Loki’s cheeks, and Loki appreciated it greatly.

 

Afterwards, Loki turned back around, facing Thor, and he felt nothing but relief. There were no regrets, no doubts, none of the things he had expected to feel.

 

“Thank you, Loki, for sharing this with me,” Thor whispered and kissed Loki’s forehead, his lips lingering, and Loki pressed himself as close to Thor as possible.

 

“I’m sorry about your father,” Loki said, feeling that it was the right thing to say. He didn’t want his time with Thor to be just about himself. He wanted to hear Thor’s story too.

 

“I feel guilty sometimes,” Thor said after a few minutes of silence and Loki moved away a little to look at him, knowing that Thor was different from him in this respect, understanding that Thor wasn’t bothered by having Loki look into his eyes in such a moment, but welcomed it as something that calmed him.

 

“He was a great man and he was my dad, but he had his faults. I’m coping with the loss because a huge part of my life was gone when he died, but at the same time...” Thor sighed. “At the same time, I feel relieved because I can finally be who I am. I don’t have to hide anymore. Mom has always been accepting of my choices. So have my brother and my friends. I just wish that dad could have been, too. That’s the only thing I ever resented him. And it’s a relief that I don’t have to feel like a disappointment anymore. His disgrace. Because I... Because I’m gay.”

 

“Thor,” Loki breathed, afraid to say anything more because it might spoil everything. He was great with words, but he was awkward with feelings, so he just kissed Thor, offering him physical comfort, hoping that Thor would know that Loki was there with him, for him, in every way he knew to be.

 

They stayed like that for a while, kissing and talking, sharing their likes and dislikes, but mostly kissing and enjoying the feel of skin against skin.

 

**.**

**.**

**.**

 

 

“Are you sure?” Thor murmured against the back of Loki’s neck, nuzzling into his nape.

 

They were in the shower because by the time that dawn started to break the night apart, the desire to wash away the sweat and stickiness became too great to ignore. They were only supposed to shower, but washing soon turned into a game, and the game escalated, and it was wonderful. It started with light touches that turned into groping, and the groping turned into Thor kneeling down, drilling bruises into Loki’s hips with his fingers as he kept him steady, sucking him off, while Loki writhed against the tiled wall. Then, Loki begged for Thor to stop because he didn’t want to come too soon, but he wanted Thor to finger him.

 

He, _Loki_ , yearned for a thorough fingering session. Nobody had to panic about burning in hell any longer, Loki mused just before Thor entered him with the first finger, because the whole place was probably frozen by now.

 

Penetration used to frighten Loki. It seemed so invasive and all-conquering. Someone was literally inside you, stretching you with their fingers or prick, and that could soon lead to that someone staying inside you, burrowing into your very soul.

 

Yet right now, Loki was pinned against the tiles of his own free will, eyes closed, his chest pressed against the wet wall, drops of water crawling down his skin. He felt each and every one of them as Thor’s fingers worked inside of him, stretching his hole so well and hitting the spot inside him just right. Loki was huffing against the tiles, fingers scrambling for purchase, his cock throbbing with unimaginable need.

 

“I’m sure,” he breathed, whining at the loss as Thor slid his fingers out of him, caressing the cheeks of his ass with both hands in a gentle, yet delightfully possessive manner.

 

“Wait, let me go get a condom. Shit, I should’ve thought of that when you told me to find the lube, but I didn’t want to presume – ”

 

“No condom,” Loki demanded impatiently. “You told me you’re clean, and I’m clean, so fuck me already.”

 

Loki opened his eyes wide, startled by his own words, even more so because they were entirely honest and so unlike him. Or perhaps, that was exactly like him, he just hadn’t known it before. He did want Thor inside him and he felt no fear this time, the way he had when he let Kvasir in. He did not feel obligated to please Thor; he felt needy and absolutely avaricious for such intimacy. He didn’t even want a condom that would lessen the sensations. He just wanted and craved and longed, and he was tired of waiting. He had only really known Thor for a few hours, but he didn’t give one shit about that. He simply wished to feel good and Thor was definitely amazing at doing that to him.

 

“You’re killing me, _fuck_ ,” Thor groaned behind him and Loki could hear him slicking his cock, shivering in anticipation.

 

Thor wrapped one arm around Loki’s torso and rested it on his chest, grazing one erect nipple. With the other hand, Thor guided his cock between Loki’s butt cheeks and dragged its length up and down, up and down, rubbing his hard prick against Loki’s cleft to taunt them both. Loki released a shaky breath and butted his forehead against the tiles, grunting in frustration.

 

“Stop teasing, please,” Loki said, his initial plan being to form a command, but it came out as a plea.

“But you like it so much,” Thor replied with a purr.

 

He began to kiss and suck on Loki’s shoulder, working on creating a bruise, a mark of ownership, and Loki keened, unable to so much as curse the bastard.

 

“Shhh, that’s okay, babe, no more teasing, I promise,” Thor said. “I’m going to make you see stars.”

 

Loki gulped and sputtered out incomprehensible sounds. He felt Thor’s cock nudge at his entrance and then, it was piercing him, sliding along his channel slowly, and even before it was fully inside, filling him with the sensations of both _too much_ and _not enough_ at the same time, Loki knew he was truly going to be seeing stars.

 

“Are you okay?” Thor whispered against his ear and Loki could only nod, his mouth helplessly agape.

 

This was not how he remembered his first experience of being the one penetrated. It was the exact opposite of his first time, intense and hot and heart-clenching. Thor pulled back slowly, leaving only the tip inside, and then he lunged forward with sudden force. Loki yowled and threw his head back, resting it against Thor’s shoulder. He exposed his neck to Thor’s lips that worked on painting bruises on the pale skin as his hips thrust into Loki, steadily accelerating the pace. Thor shifted a little and Loki couldn’t believe the scream that hurtled out of his mouth as Thor’s cock found his prostate, stabbing at it at regular intervals that had his head spinning.

 

“So tight and hot,” Thor whispered, his words ending in a hitch of breath. “Gorgeous, you’re gorgeous.”

 

“ _Shit_ ,” Loki whimpered, ending the word on a splintered gasp.

 

He grabbed Thor’s hair with one hand and let the other one wander to his own crotch to tug at his iron-hard cock, but Thor would have none of that. He grabbed both of Loki’s wrists and lifted them above Loki’s head, banging them against the wall just as he slammed into Loki hard.

 

Loki finally understood what it meant to see stars.

 

Every moment after was a blurry, hot mess and Loki’s whole world shrank to the points where Thor’s hands rendered him immovable and where Thor’s cock pounded into him as if there was no tomorrow. Loki’s throat was raw and sore from all the whimpering and groaning and fucking _screaming_. He couldn’t help it; Thor played his body like a top performer, increasing the volume of Loki’s appreciation of his marvellous efforts with every shove. In the end, Loki’s voice gave up and he came, completely untouched, with a pathetic mewl that ended on a barely-heard sob, his head hanging limp between his raised shoulders.

 

And then, he got to experience the hot surge of Thor’s come flooding him, marking the first time a man did that to him, and Loki knew and consciously decided that Thor was the only man who was ever allowed to do that to him. In fact, Loki would fucking insist upon it because it felt great to have Thor’s come dripping down his thighs while Thor’s cock was still lodged inside his ass.

 

Thor released Loki’s wrists, slowly guiding Loki’s arms to rest against his sides once more, huffing against the spot between Loki’s shoulder blades. Loki appreciated Thor’s gentleness, needing it to come back from the high of what had been the best sex of his life. He kept smiling the entire time that Thor was cleaning them both, and Thor smiled with him, leaving soft pecks all over his face until the water grew cold and banished them from the shower, only for them to find a new retreat in Thor’s bed.

 

“I have to leave,” Loki said after an hour of cuddling and he chuckled at Thor’s pout.

 

“But it’s Sunday, Loki,” he complained, hugging Loki around the waist and not letting him out of bed.

 

“I’m sorry, but I run a website and that can’t wait, Sunday or not.”

 

Oh shit, Thor was giving him the fucking puppy eyes. Loki was not going to fall for that. He had never done so before, and that didn’t have to change. He had principles.

 

“Okay, let me just...call Sigyn,” he breathed against Thor’s mouth a minute later. “But this is a one-time exception, o-okay?” It was so hard to think with Thor nibbling on his earlobes. “I h-ngh...have a schedule.”

 

“And I respect that,” Thor murmured against his chin, licking at the line of Loki’s jaw. “Except on Sundays,” he added matter-of-factly. “On Sundays, I make sure you relax in bed all day and leave it entirely debauched, how’s that sound?”

 

Loki whimpered.

 

“ _Fuck_ , Thor.”

 

He called Sigyn two hours later.

 

He knew he would never hear the end of it from her smug self ever again. She made sure to tell him that, making juvenile kissy noises into the phone, squealing with glee and begging for details. Dream on, Sigyn.

 

But all of that was not so bad, Loki figured. After all, the consolation prize was Thor.

 

**.**

**.**

**.**

 

Thor had been watching Loki sleeping for the past five minutes, observing the slow rise and fall of his back, listening to the soft huffs of air against the pillow.

 

It had been three years since he first saw Loki and he still couldn’t believe that the man lying next to him was in his life. It hadn’t always been an easy three years, riddled with ups and downs. Loki had his insecurities and rules, Thor still had some issues with his temper, and they could clash gloriously. It was the worst at the start of their relationship, but it had gotten much better by now, and it had never bothered Thor one bit because, no matter what, he was so happy and that overruled everything.

 

For the first few months, being with Loki was almost exhausting, a constant walk on thin ice, because one night of amazing sex couldn’t erase years of fear and self-denial. On both parts, Thor admitted, because there were many things in his life that _he_ needed to experience anew and make adjustments to. Loki was clearly in love with him from the start, and the feeling was absolutely mutual, but while Thor couldn’t stand to be away from Loki for even a day, Loki needed his space. Loki had needed time and it was the greatest challenge of Thor’s life, to remain patient, to wait for Loki to fully cut all the strings tying him to his past and abandon the stubborn, destructive philosophies that bound him to it.

 

Thor had to wait for Loki to start believing in happiness again. It hadn’t been easy, but it paid off because Loki was here now and Thor knew that he would stay. And God, how Thor loved him.

 

The first time he told Loki that, Loki slipped out of the bed in the middle of the night, leaving Thor to wake up alone, confused and afraid that he’d gone too far, too soon. Instead of running straight to Loki’s house, he called Sigyn first and she gave him very valuable advice, which he took, although reluctantly.

 

_Never pressure Loki. Make him feel that he always has one door open to step out and breathe, you know?_

 

He gave Loki his space, he even refrained from calling or seeing him, despite the ache in his heart. And then, after four days, Loki came back to him, asking for forgiveness and whispering, oh so quietly, “I love you, too.”

 

Things had become easier after that great obstacle was conquered, and slowly, there was more of Loki in his house every day until Thor casually suggested, “You’re here most of the time,” and it was true, Loki needed the retreat of his own house less and less, “so how I about you move in officially. And don’t sell the house,” Thor hurried to add because he had become an expert in recognising the first traces of panic in Loki’s eyes, “just rent it out.” Thor smiled warmly, tucking a stray strand of hair behind Loki’s ears. “If you want to. I love having you with me, babe. It would be an honour to share this house with you, call it _our_ home. Narfi already agrees, I think.”

 

That time, Loki only stayed away from him for half a day, and when he returned, he arrived with two suitcases, unceremoniously announcing, “Let’s do the rest of the moving tomorrow, I have to work on a few updates tonight.”

 

The sex had been amazing between them from the start, so in that department, there had never been trouble. Thor felt smug about the fact that he had a clear influence on Loki with his body. It was very flattering and exciting to have Loki’s eyes following him whenever he came out the bathroom wrapped only in a skimpy towel and still dripping water, or when he stretched in the living room before lifting weights. And when Thor lifted weights, Loki was always around, pretending not to notice with his nose in a book or working on his laptop, but Thor knew that Loki’s eyes kept straying and sometimes, Thor made sure to stretch especially thoroughly, which earned him a passionate, naked session with a very lustful Loki. It went both ways, really, only that Loki made no pretences – he was openly satisfied about Thor’s affection for his sinewy body and ivory skin. When Loki wanted something, he simply wandered into Thor’s presence stark naked, or Thor would wake up with Loki’s lips upon his cock.

 

Life _was_ good.

 

 But Thor’s magic was not something that was safe to throw in Loki’s face, although Thor liked to make the best of it. Some days, when he knew he had to coax Loki into doing something that Loki didn’t particularly enjoy, like grocery shopping, Thor would rest his fingers against the back of Loki’s neck just right, massaging into the nape, and Loki would change his mind without making a fuss, claiming his prize as soon as possible, which resulted in them christening every possible surface of Thor’s house – _their_ house now – in various sexual positions over the course of the three years they’d been together.

 

Thor took a risk not long ago and asked Loki an important question while massaging his back with oil. Thor loved to touch Loki’s skin like this and it rendered Loki so happy and pliant that Thor could ask anything of him, and Loki would do it.

 

Well, almost anything. But Thor took a chance. He loved Loki with his entire being; Loki was the love of his life and he wanted Loki to know the exact truth of that.

 

“I’d love to marry you one day, babe,” he whispered because that was a safer way to hide the tremor in his voice. “Would you like to be my husband, too?”

 

“Hmmm,” Loki murmured and it took him a few seconds to process the question. Loki’s eyes sprang open and he gaped at Thor, lifting himself on his elbows, wide eyed, and Thor recognised the tell-tale spark of rising panic in them. He didn’t take offence to it. He knew Loki loved him, but he also knew that, while Loki had conquered many of his fears, there were some that still lingered and the desire to keep an imaginary emergency stairway alive in his head had remained.

 

“Just a thought, babe,” Thor added softly, drizzling more oil into his hands and splaying them against Loki’s back again, kneaded at the suddenly tense flesh. “I just wanted you to know how I feel about us. No pressure. Let’s not talk about it until you want to do so. _If_ you ever want to, okay?”

 

Loki nodded tersely, lowering his chest back down on the futon, and Thor knew he had to make sure that Loki relaxed again and dismissed all thoughts of an escape. Thor knew the thoughts were there; he could almost hear them clanking against Loki’s skull and causing him distress. So Thor massaged lower and slid one finger along Loki’s cleft, swirling it around Loki’s hole. He made Loki forget. He did it so well that two weeks had passed and they hadn’t addressed Thor’s proposal yet, but at least, Loki had been calm and his normal self the entire time, and he didn’t run.

 

Now, Thor was watching him sleep, marvelling at the wonder that was Loki in his life, day-dreaming about putting a ring on his elusive boyfriend’s finger and claiming him as his in front of witnesses.

 

“Stop staring at me while I’m sleeping, Thor,” Loki muttered against the pillow, eyes still closed. “It’s creepy.”

 

Thor chuckled, kissing one naked shoulder. “I can’t help it. I love looking at you.”

 

Loki sighed, rolling on his back. “You’re such a hopeless romantic sap.”

 

“Would you prefer it if I quoted Pablo Neruda to you? Less sappy, I agree.”

 

Loki groaned, stretching his sleep-heavy limbs so delightfully. Thor’s cock stirred a little. Yes, he was definitely helpless and it was Loki’s fault, but in the best way possible.

 

“Don’t recite poetry, please. It’s not for everybody, no offence, darling.”

 

Thor snorted, murmuring “Arrogant” against Loki’s nipple. Loki purred with contentment, but pushed Thor away.

 

“Wait, just a second,” he said, sitting up. “I just want to say something first.”

 

Thor frowned, sitting up as well. “Okay.”

 

“I’ve been thinking about it and...I want to keep my last name,” Loki started talking and at first, Thor had no idea what he meant. “And I want you to keep your last name, too. None of that Borsson-Ymirsson or Ymirsson-Borsson corny bullshit. Let the straight people deal with that, but we don’t have to, okay?”

 

“What?” Thor splattered.

 

“Oh!” Loki lifted a finger at that, as if to stress it was strictly forbidden to try and have a dispute about what he was going to say. “We’re both wearing dark suits for the ceremony. Basically, any colour will do, in a dark hue, that is, except for white and pastel tones. We’re two men, there are no brides involved. On that note, no gentle flowers, no white things, no freaking canopy for us to stand under. Just...simple and elegant, okay? In short, the exact opposite of Sigyn and Gunne’s Cinderella wedding. And not too many guests. I mean it, Thor, fifty is my upper limit.”

 

Thor was grinning. “You want to marry me, then?”

 

Loki looked at him for the first time since he started talking. His lips curled into a demure smile and he nodded. “Yes. Of course I do,” he said softly. “And I’m sorry I left you hanging, but I had to think everything through first.”

 

Thor slid his fingers through Loki’s hair, pressing his lips against Loki’s forehead. “My Loki, always thinking.”

 

“Well, one of us has to do it.”

 

“Okay, this demands revenge!” Thor exclaimed, pushing Loki against the mattress. He kissed him hard, biting the plump lips with relish. “Husband,” he groaned into their kisses and Loki sighed.

 

“Husband,” Loki repeated.

**Author's Note:**

> I am available at ficcionister.tumblr.com, a blog exclusively created for my fanfiction, thorki and other things.
> 
> Loki quotes Anna Akhmatova's poem "You Will Hear Thunder" in front of the space fresco.
> 
> Loki's anti-vegan views are just a bit of fun. In the mythology, both Thor and Loki are voracious eaters, so I thought it would be fun to make Loki fond of food and frustrated by Sigyn's vegan ways.
> 
> Didring Street is my invention, named so after the Swedish author Ernst Didring (because I couldn't think of anything else, apparently) but all the other places in the story are real - and really freaking beautiful!


End file.
